11 Days!!!!!!!

Oh god

I am having a moment right now of nearly full blown panic. Thinking about only having 19 days to do all the stuff that I feel needs to be done. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. I know that this panic is irrational. Theresa and Sara and Rena gave me a great pep talk yesterday about how it is jsut a party, and there is a part of my brain that understanda that however the larger part of my mind is just firing off left right and center. Guilt about my brothers and Gil's sister not being here because we changed the date it really wearing on me. I know that we did what was right for us but I still fell like we have disapointed people we love. Also I miss my mother more then I have in years. I am over tired and frustrated. The breaks are gone on the car so 3 weeks before the wedding we are going have to pour money that we REALLY don't have into fixing the car. This FGD car always seems to need something really major when our money is earmarked for something else. I feel like people think I am crazy or stupid or flakey for being so worried about this whole thing so I don't even really want to talk about it anymore. But I am scared. I have a constant butterfly in my chest. The only thing I am NOT scared about is marrying Gil. That part I know is going to turn out just fine. but the rest of it makes me want to cry.

More pics

Random pictures

I have been meaning to post some of these for a long time (think SNOW) so I am going to do it TODAY!!

Holy Sweet Jesus!

Man we are getting married in 28 days! If you want to know why I haven't been posting much now you know. Even the smallest of weddings seem to take so much time and energy to plan. and ours isn't all that small. not huge, but not small. 45 people, which is really just our good friends and family. Not even all our family, none of our siblings are able to make it because of the date change, which has been the source of MANY tears in the past week. I have become so emotional, even more then usual if you can picture that!
I feel like I have been living to shop recently. Man weddings are expensive. I can't even imagin if we were going for a BIG wedding. We went today to this cool wholesale place to buy flats of pop, it was wicked. It is the kind of place where shop owners go to get supplies. Also the prices were amazing. We have a tonne of booze and pop sitting in our basement now, it is very cool. We bought our wedding rings this week, that rocked and brought a LOT of tears to my eyes. I can't wait to have that ring on my finger.
Gil is down stairs right now making us some dinner on the BBQ. I am relaxing. I love relaxing. I had a massage today at the Interlude. It was so amazing. I feel so spoild. I am getting ready for a walk with Sara and then we are going up the hill tonight to drink "Laura Sunrise's" and relax some more.
Tomorrow is my shower which I am SOOOO excited for. I will fill you in with all the details later but now I have to go help Gil find masking tape.
Yeah!