T'was the night before Christmas...

I woke up this morning and the world was covered ina blanket of white. Not enough to impare any driving, just enough to be beautiful and look like Christmas. It is almost 10am now and the snow has all but stopped. By the time we hit the road it should be fine. We are heading to Sackville for the skating party at around 12:30 and then the day just gets busy. Once the running starts it just won't stop until the 28th. I will need a vacation from my vacation. Although I did get to leave work yesterday at 12:00 and get the last of the shopping done with Gil. It is nice to actually spend some time just hanging out with him. He is heading back to the Evil Ilse but not until the 3rd of January. Oh yes that is right my birthday IS on the 4th, how very nice of you to notice. Yes not only will he have been away for HIS birthday but he will be gone for mine as well. I am trying to be cool about it but the truth is I am some where btween pissed and broken hearted. I love my borthday and Gil always makes it extra special. It is my princess day.
But let's not dwell on that today. It is Christmas Eve and dammit I intend to enjoy myself! I am going to go put a pot of tea on, finish the last of my gift wrapping and enjoy the last quiet moments of the holiday.

I wish you all a very merry Christmas!!!
and if you like to laugh watch this. But I warn you it is NOT FOR CHILDREN. I laughed so hard I think I opooed something inside. But it is VERY offensive.


My DREAM Christmas tree! Ha so funny.

Sorry folks...

I am sorry I was such a cranky puss yesterday. I was feeling very bah humbug and I let it get the better of me, today I aim to improve. I am sneaking a little computer time at work as it has been, on whole, been a very unproductive day. We had a little Christmas pot luck fun today, funny office stuff. I am not really used to working in this kind of enviornment. I actually really enjoy it, the 9-5 life suits me well.
I got to have a brief word with my wonderful brother this morning. I called and bugged him at work. I took it upon myself to make sure he was not running off to the alter today with the other 670 gay men in England. Don't get me wrong, I WANT he and Simon to get married, I can't think of anything I would loe more for my brother then to be able to live in wedded bliss with the man he loves, however I want to be there! I must be apart of it. He married once without his family there to help him celbrate, he is not allowed to do that again.
My little nephew Louis turned 9 this past week and I can't believe so much time has passed. I haven't seen him since he was still in nappys, it is hard to believe he is now 9 and sooo smart.
So happy birthday LuLu, you are an AMAZING boy.
well I must get back to work now, one more hour until quitting time. Cross your fingers Gil will be home tonight.

Check out the creepy Nutcracker guy!

HOHOHO

Zen and the art of Meghan Maintenance

I confess I am a UHM woman, Ultra High Maintenance, I can be very demanding. But I don't think it is unreasonable that I was Gil to be home in the days leading up to Christmas. Dammit we have stuff to do and I am tired of only seeing him on Sundays! It is Nova Scotia, you can't get any Christmas shopping done on a Sunday. I am tired of asking other people to please come drive me to the store. Last week I had to ask my older brother to drive me to the store so I could get some tampons. THAT WAS NOT COOL, not for either of us. Oh yes I could have walked, it was only -10. Or I could have taken the bus it would only have taken 2 hours to make a 5 minute trip. Gil suggested a cab, I told him what he could do with a cab. I am a spoiled little girl and I know it but I am used to having Gil home to run errands with me. I am used to having someone to hang out with when I want to hang. I am used to getting my own way and I like it. I don't know who is finding this project more stressful me or him. Now before you go passing judgement on me let me just say this... The project has been going on forever! I packed up all of the old house on my own, I moved us, I have been here unpacking all alone while in the midst of starting a new job and trying to get ready for the "holiday" (holiday my ass! Do you know ONE person who is feeling relaxed? I don't!!). I am doing it all on my own and I feel partnerless. I have seen him 6 days this month. I am exhausted, I mean it EXHAUSTED! I need Gil because he is my rock, he keeps me sane. I am lonley without him. So maybe I am a codependant basket case but who cares? I am a woman in love who has lost the holiday spirit 'cause it does not feel like Christmas without my sweet Baboo.
Having said that thank you to EVERYONE who has helped me out in the past few weeks. I have the best friends in the world.

Oh sweet internet I missed you SO.

THANK GOD! I thought I was going to die if I went one more day without a bump, is there a 12 step program for this?
So life has been pretty insane. We moved on a Thursday and on Monday morning I started my new job, as well Gil left for PEI. I have been totally burning the candle at both ends I am tired and very burnt out. Last night I just fell apart. I was so tired and SO sad that Gil was heading back to PEI after only being home for two days. I just feel apart. I can't remember when I was that low. All in all I had a crappy weekend. We had a big snow storm that turned the city into a zoo all weekend. Gil and I snipped at each other the whole time he was home. WE went to his office Christmas pary and someone spilled beer on my camera and now it is very broken.
Anway I don't feel like writing now, I am exhausted, I am going to have a bath, a glass of red wine and then I am heading to bed.

Oh dear god!

I don't know how it happened but we are moving in 2 days!! I mean where did the month go?
We went this afternoon to pick up pur keys and have look around the place with the land lord and I took a few pictures.
My beautiful double sink that I am SO in love with.









The amazing staircase


The next three pictures are of the closet in the master bedroom which is so huge you could probably play touch football in it.I am so excited. I just want to get in there and have it over with so I can say it is OURS!

However back on the job front I have made a decision. I am going with the very respectable, boring job. Monday to Friday 9-5 is just too good to turn down. I just had to go with the one that seemed more responsible. I am not a little girl any more and I can't do things just because they seem fun. This is something that I have struggled with for a long time, doing what is smart and responsible versus what is fun for me. I have in the past almost always gone with what would please me in the short term even if my gut told me it was wrong, that I would pay for that later. I have been working on changing that lately. Paying bills as soon as they come in even though it means being broke, rather then spending money on foolish things that make me happy for a moment. I hate living with that fear that my wrong actions will eventually catch up with me because they always do. I am almost 31 years old and it is time to start to live more authentically.
well enough of that introspection. Time to get ready to shopping with big brother.

Ahh... the quest for work continues.

Wow what a day it has been so far. It is only 3pm and I have already had 2 job intrviews today. So right now I am sitting here at Sweet Baboo's office trying to get some perspective.

Job interview # 1 was for a loss pervention office. The interview went REALLY well and I was offered a job at the end. It pays a little more and the work is certainly more interesting. Busting bad guys and played secret agent Meggy sounds like a great deal of fun. The down side of it is that it is still retail hours so I would be back to working evenings and weekends. I hate working evenings and weekends.

Job interview # 2 was for a sales postion with a company that sells paper. The interview did not go TERRIBLY however there was no offer on the table when I left and the man did stare at my breasts the WHOLE time and by the end I was getting close to beating him. It pays slightly less but the office is only about 2 blocks from Sweet Boboo's office so we could car pool every day with no skin off his back. Also it is a Monday-Friday 8:30-4:30 gig which means NO weekends and no evenings. That is a big bonus. It is however a job selling paper, on the phone. I am searching really hard but I can't find anything too fun or exciting about that.

I seriously don't know what to do. Job interview # 1 said I should give them a call in the morning and let them know and I could start as soon as Monday. But job # 2 is more grown up.

WHAT TO DO???

Moving sucks SO bad!

Serioulsy need I say more? I can't live like this! I mean I know it is only 4 more days but GOD! I am going crazy. My tummy is just freaking out and I can't sleep. Damn I can't wait until this all over. Anyway I have to go, I have to freak out in another room.

If you prick my finger will I not bleed... TEA!

Tea is my drug of choice and these days I have been hittng the kettle strong. Tea is supposed to one of those claming things that helps you through the stressful moments. That is why the minute something bad happens some one usually says "I'll put the tea on." It is funny but my love of tea did not begin in my mothers kitchen although I do always remember there being a pot of tea on the stove at my Auntie Barb's house in Cape Breton. And while I did drink tea in London that is not where true love was fostered, in my heart or tea cup. I don't know where the love tea actually fully bloomed, I have a feeling that it happened around the table in Shubenacadie with Mom and Elizabeth.
Why am I talking about tea? I have no idea, I am having a mental day. I am ranting about tea to avoid doing what I really have to do which is clean and pack. GOD! why do we have so much stuff? I just need to DO IT but I don't wanna.
Oh the shower curtain...










Isn't it beautiful??? I can't wait to decorate, that is so much better then packing. But I guess I better get back to it.

Sunday Afternoon.

Well here we are, ten days until the end of the month. Our apartment looks like a storage facility, you can not move with out bumping into something cardboard. Frustration around the house is on the high end of the threshold. Yesterday basically turned into a boohoo fest which I have to say was fun for no one. But today is a little better; Sweet Baboo slept until 3pm 'cause he was up until almost 7am (I swear I am thinking of hiding that video game.) but I got a few more boxes packed and some dishes done. I feel a lot less stressed then I have for the past few days. I got more sleep then usual last night as I turned in pretty early, Sweet Baboo dealt with the 4am putting out of the cat and I got the whole bed for pretty much the whole night. As far as packing goes I am at the sticky part where I have to decide "will we use this in the next ten days?" if not it goes in a box, but sometimes it is hard to tell. On another moving note of insanity Sweet Baboo still has no idea when he is heading to PEI on business. It is starting to make me totally insane. I am angry just typing about it. It is NOT his fault and I am not upset at him at all. It is the project leader who makes Jessica Simpson look like a freaking rocket scientist. He has no clue what is going on and therefore the whole team is stuck in this GD limbo. Normally it is just a bit of a pain in the ass getting a call from Sweet Baboo saying that he is leaving to go away to (insert province of choice here) in 3 hours however this time I am trying to work around moving our whole lives and I would like to know if my main support system, Sweet Baboo, is going to be around to keep me sane. Also if I am only given a few hours to pack for him to leave for 1-2 weeks my head might implode. Also I don't want to sleep in the new house by myself the first night. The house will have noises I am not used to, I will be totally freaked out. Now here I am totally freaking out! Damn it! Someone needs to kick Project Manager in the ass and I think I should be the one that gets to do it.
Okay I have ranted enough, now let me say something positive...
1. My older brother Mike has been so cool about this moving thing. He has really been so helpful. He is going to drive the truck and help with all the icky lifting and carrying. Right now I feel like he is pretty much running this show and for that I am SO greatful.
2. This same big brother is buying me (us) new bathroom accessories for our Christmas present (we are getting it early). So yesterday Sweet Baboo took me out shopping to look at bathroom stuff. I am going with pink because I LOVE pink and there is pink tile in the new shower and I batted my eyes until Sweet Baboo said he did not care. I saw lots of stuff I did not like, too little girl or too old lady but I did find one that I REALLY loved. I will post the picture I took of it later. I have to look in a few more spots just to make sure it is 100% the one I want, but I am already so in love with it I am sure it will be mine.
Well I think that is enough for now. I am going to go explore around Sweet Baboo's office, which is where I am now getting a change of scenery.
Later!

More Jann

Ahh you can read all about her awsomness here. And you can read her beautiful words of wisdom here.
Okay I am done now, I swear.

"...I could still eat that."

Oh MAN, that was so AWSOME! I mean AWSOME!! I need that night so badly. By the time we left to go I was tired and cranky and just wanted to go and get it over with. And we got there and I wasn't feeling much better. We sat in our seats, which were amazing, and got settled in and I was kind of thinking I wish the opening act would just hurry up so we could get to Jann. However when the guy (Bob K???) came out he was so cool. He made me laugh so hard. so I was starting to really chill and relax and in walked .... Barbie and Skipper! Barbie and Skipper sat down next to me about half way through Bob's set. Then they told us we were sitting in their seats. Aimee assured them that we were not. They seemed to think we were mistaken. Aimee said "what row are you in?" they check their tickets and say they are in the second row. well JESUS clearly this is the first row, there is ten feet of leg room in front of me. Aimee advises them the the second row is BEHIND us. Then Aimee snarked, just out of earshot, that it doen't take a genius to COUNT the rows. I laughed so hard I almost peed. If only it had ended there but of course it didn't. Barbie and Skipper sat down behind us every time Barbie crossed her legs she kicked Aimee in the ass. During the break between Bob and Jann Barbie and Skipper went to chat with some friends. They came back when Jann had already started, how annoying. They took their seat right behind Aimee and I then started to .... TALK! LOUDLY! They were sitting there running off at the mouth and nothing to do with the concert at top volume trying to talk to each other over the music. I was WILD. By the fourth song of Jann's set I was really mad, counting to ten under my breath and trying to ignore these two very rude women. But then one of my favorite songs came on (really they are all my favorite) and they just wouldn't shut the hell up so I turned around in my seat and yelled "I paid $60 to listen to HER not you two!!!" and I could feel Aimee shaking with laughter next to me. She says the man two down from her laughed so hard he had to take off his glass and wipe his eyes. I was still feeling a bit weird about it at the end of the show, I mean I am not the girl who stands up to people like tahe, but all my worries were put to rest when the lady who was sitting next to Aimee (wife of laughing man) shook my hand and THANKED ME! SHe said she was worried they were going to talk through the whole thing. It was very nice validation. As it happend Barbie and Skipper left about a half an hour early and clearly either were given their tickets or had more money then brains. Other then that the night was perfect. Jann was out of this world. That woman is SO talented. She made me laugh, she made me cry. It was so nice to be there with Aimee. The great thing about Jann is that every single song has a memory attached to it. Some Sweet Baboo, some the ex I don't hate, lots of Aimee and a WHOLE LOT of Shannon. It was weird there were moments when Austrailia felt SO far away and moments where I was sure that Shannon was in that empty seat next to me holding my hand. I miss her so much but I am so proud of what she is doing. Thank you Jann for that moment.
Well now I have to get back to doing something productive. We only have 12 days until moving day. Wheee watch Meggy go mental!

Jann Arden Day WHEEEEE!

Guess what I am doing tonight? If you read the title of this and still do not know then I suggest you turn around and walk away. If you ever so wisley surmised that I am going to see the beautiful, talented, AWSOME Jann Arden then give yourself a big shiny gold star. I am so excited, I have been looking forward to this for so long. I am so glad that Aimee and I are going together. She loves Jann as much or more then me. I wish Shannon could come to, I think Shannon might be single handedly responsible for my love of all things Jann. Dang I miss that girl! My total love of Jann even brought me here on my first day in Calgary back in the day. I think I still have this placemat in a shoe box somewhere.

So last night I learned to true danger of computers. Some people think it is that people spend too much time in fornt of them, that there is so much junk out there in cyber space that is corruptive , but all that is childs play! The TRUE danger comes when they are old and cranky and you are trying to throw them out and they ATTACK!

Now you can all see that I have not shaved my legs in too many days. Isn't Sweet Baboo a lucky man? It hurt so much when it happend but I was very brave and didn't call Sweet Baboo and make him come home to take care of me. (It really wasn't that bad.)

Well I am off to do some more packing before I go for my night on the town. I will tell you all about it tomorrow.

The Day My Body Gave Up On Sleep and Other Funny Tales

Picture this, the hour is 7:30 am, I have been asleep for a grand total of 5 hours, the cat has decided to be merciful and opted not to wake me for any nonsense, the bed is so comfortable I could sleep all day. But then comes 7:31 am! My eyes pop open, I lie there in shock, I have been betrayed some the one person I think I can trust.... my body is not tired and wants to get up, worse still my brain agrees to go through with it. I had better put the tea on, we are in for a long day. I can't really get too mad at poor brain, she is SOO overwhelmed with all the things that get done in the next 15 days. But body, OH BODY how could you!?
Now I have to get ready to make this house look half decent because there is yet another tour group coming through today. I thought it was hard to keep this place looking ship shape BEFORE we started to move but with boxes and packing supplies and cleaning stuff everywhere it looks like U-Haul blew up in here. Worse , todays tour group includes the building inspector and I know he will be looking in every nook and cranny. Man I can't wait for this move to be over. I love our new place but I always find this process so unsettling. I always turn into a raging spaz during the moving process. You would think that I could be more calm about the whole affair since I have done in SOOO many times but there is jsut something about moving that sets my inner freak off and running.
So today is eye doctor day. I confess to you hear and now I do not like the eye doctor. They get WAY too close to my face, I hate anything close to my face. ASk Sweet Baboo, from time to time he gets a good swift lesson upside the head about how I don't like things in my face. However I KNOW I need new glasses (glasses? new glasses? when the hell does she ever where her old glasses?) I do infact have glasses and I have a few pictures hidden in the bowels of hell to back that up, but I HATE me current glasses ( I was talked out of buying the ones I really wanted) and the perscription is so old I think that they do more harm then good. The only reason I am at all excited to go to the eye doctor is because Sweet Baboo is going too and he has been walking around in broken specs for WAY too long. Years! If ever there was a person who deserved new eye wear it is him. It will be so nice for him not to have to worry about his glasses all the time. I wish I could give him everything that he deserves, and the best of everything too. But I can't, I don't even know how we are going to afford Christmas this year but we will find away we always do.
I just read the most terrible new artticle about the worst case of bullying I have heard of. It makes me sick to my stomache. http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2005/11/14/toronto-school-051114.html

Well I gotta get going, I have to try and get SOMETHING doen this morning and my lovely BEAUTIFUL sister is coming over to help me. More about the stinking eye doctor later.

Home Again

What a great trip to see the family. It was nice and quiet! No computer, no phone just us and some books. We were SOOO well fed. Sweet Baboo's dad is an amazing cook, he makes the best breakfast ever and one of the many Aunties made us a beautiful turkey dinner. It was so yummy. Now I am getting back to business packing and cleaning. I actually have nothing interesting to say so I am going to do dishes.

In laws and out laws

Well Sweet Baboo is still asleep 'cause he was up until about 6am playing his new video game (that man is such an addict!) so I thought I would just pop on and say Hi before we pop off to see the In Laws and Out Laws. I can't wait to get away for a few days, I love the quiet up at the Cap. No cat waking me up at 4am, no hamster chewing on the cage. Most of all no 2 year old screaming like a mad man right above my head. I just need a moment of R&R before I get into flull blown packing mode. I have a couple of boxes done but I am going to have to start going at it full force soon, we have less then three weeks now and Sweet Baboo is going to be gone for a portion of that time (about a week) because he has to travel for work. It is funny last year when he went away to BC it totally freaked me out, I really hated being alone but he has travelled so much this year that it doesn't bother me anymore. I know for the most part he will only gone for a week and it goes so fast. Frankly I would rather he go before we move because I am used to this house and the noises it makes, I know the first little while in a new place I will be jumpy 'cause of the new sounds and stuff.
Well time to go and pack. have a good long weekend.

November 10th, lease signing day...amounst other things.

Yup Novemeber 10th again. How does that happen so fast? I am putting all my energy into NOT feeling sad because I feel like I had used up my sad quota. I feel a bit like people have grown impatient with my sadness, but seriously how can I NOT be sad? She died, I can't change that. It changed the person I am. It made me a somewhat sad person. No I don't think she would liek it if I lived my my life sad and mourning all the time, but this is not all the time, this is the day she died. Maybe if it were sunny and warm I would be able to walk out there and hold my head up and feel rejuvinated. But the leaves fell off the trees over night, it is pouring rain, dark in the middle of the day woth a a find so feirce and cold you think it might do permanant damage. It feel like the whole world knows what a sad day it is and wants to mourn with me.
A few years ago someone who I considered to be a friend said to me "It has been so many years, aren't you over this yet?" The cheek! This woman has both parents still living, she talks to her mom every single day on the phone, they see each other almost eveyday and she considers her mother one of her best friends. She has it so good, she has no idea. I know she would be totally devistated if she lost her mom, and I would never, ever wish that on her no matter how insensitive she is. Anyway it made me mad. No one would ever say that kind of crap to a person who lost someone in 9/11 what is different about losing someone you love to anything else? But I also don't want to dwell on it.
I have lots of wonderful positive people in my life who care what and how I feel and understand that today will always be a day of grief for me. I have Sweet Baboo who is AMAZING, and Elizabeth and Shannon and a bunch of other people who are so awsome. Plus I have so much to be thankful for today. First of all we are signing the lease for the townhouse today. YAY!
Well I just got a call from Pam saying there is another tour group coming through here in about an hour so I have to go to a quick clean.. ARG!

Aloha November.

Okay so I spent one full week away from here, long enough to get my head around some of the stuff that has been going on in my life but now I need to purge. I give you plenty of advanced warning that some of the things I have to say are dark ugly things, sad and powerful but they are stuck inside me and have to come out, life happens and we can't run away from that.
conversely some of the stuff I have to say is very happy and awesome and good. This is not the blog of a chronically morbid girl/woman and yes good things DO happen to me.

Okay sad first, let the flood gates open. They say bad things come in threes and in my life I have found for what ever reason that tends to be true. November kind of snuck up on me this year and when it hit it was with a bang, three things right out of the gate that just sucked the breath out of my chest.
The first was that an old friend of mine, who I admittedly have not seen in rather a long time, was mugged on his way home from work in a very very dodgy area of North Dartmouth. Not content to just mug Jamie, the evil fucks beat him into unconsciousness with a rock. He has been in the hospital since, he has had surgery to relieve the pressure on his brain. The doctors say he will be okay but I wonder how anyone recovers emotionally/spiritually from that kind of vicious, senseless violence. Many years ago Paul and I were accosted on Barrington street and while I received only an few punches to the face Paul was beaten rather more violently. Neither of us were hurt badly, certainly nothing like what Jamie has endured and it still left a deep indelible mark on our psyche's. My heart truly goes out to Jamie and to his family.
The second thing that happened was genuinely the most terrible. Shortly after midnight on November 1st I got a call from my Friend Wanda. Wanda knows that you can only call my house that late on a work night if it is REALLY important so I was worried as soon as I saw her name on the call minder but when I answered the phone I was really concerned because I had never heard Wanda so upset. Wanda is a very strong woman who has really been thrown her share of crap but has always faced adversity in a very stalwart manner hear her bawling on the phone struck fear deep in my heart. I was sure she was calling to tell me that something was terribly wrong with Toby. Toby is her amazing son (who will soon be my god son) who just turned one and has faced a lot of illness in his first year of life because he was born 13 weeks early. But when she could speak it wasn't Toby, it was even more shocking, it was Austin the 2 month old baby of our friends Karen and Sheldon. Sheldon is Wanda's very best friend and the two of them have been inseparable and since Sheldon is a stay at home dad they spend a lot of time raising their sons together. Those boys were going to be best friends. They were going to be dressed in the same clothes and joke about being twins. Austin was only two months old and as healthy as any parent could dream for. But there was an accident and now he is gone. I am not going to go into the details of what happened because I respect Karen and Sheldons privacy but I will say that it was a terrible accident and like most accidents it could have been avoided and at the same time it could have happened to anyone. I can't wrap my head around a healthy little baby dying, it just makes no sense to me and for that reason I could not go to the funeral, I don't know if that makes me a bad person or not but I just could not do it.
Which leads me to number 3. To understand number 3 you have to crawl into my brain for a moment, you have to understand how very much I loath and fear November, that one person I know had just been beaten into a coma and a perfectly healthy baby boy had just died for reasons God and I still haven't worked out the details about. My mind is in full blown crisis management mode. This is a place my mind is pretty comfortable with actually but that is neither here nor there. Two days after Austin died the phone rang and it was my sister bawling her eyes out. My sister calling me crying does not alarm me as much as Wanda, that is what sisters do, they call each other when they are tired, frustrated or had a huge fight with their S.O. My sister and I call each other crying on a regular basis. However as I said my brain was already in crisis management mode and my sisters crying had a slight, unfamiliar edge to it. She wanted to know if Sweet Baboo was home and since he was not since it was the middle of a work day she wanted to know could I please call him to come and get her. My sister VERY RARELY asks for this kind of favour so I am starting to panic a little. Then she tells me... She needs to go to the IWK (the children's hospital) there has been an accident and her oldest child, her only daughter, MY god daughter has been struck by a car while on a school outing. Everything stopped, the whole world just froze. Jamie was beat into a coma, Austin P. (as my sister also has an Austin who is alive and well thank God) was dead and I was SURE that the child I love so much some days I forget she is not mine was dead or critically injured. Elizabeth had no idea how bad it was we just had to get there ASAP. I called Sweet Baboo at work but I was crying too hard to understand what I was saying but he figured he should just come home. When I hung up the phone I lost it even more. I stood in the middle of my living room half dressed, screaming, totally unable to pull it together. Somehow my fingers managed to dial Wanda's number and she talked me down a little, in the very least she helped me get into a pair of jeans. When Sweet Baboo got here I met him in the driveway and he still didn't know just what had happened and I had started cry again so he could not understand what I was saying. I think the scariest moment was when he finally understood what I was say "Brianna was hit by a car." His manner didn't change at all he was totally cool and together but he went totally pale for a moment. Then he forced me to get it together. He told me that Elizabeth needed me to be strong and I HAD to stop crying before she got in the car. So I did... and so had she. The drive to hospital was SO long and quiet. But about 30 seconds after we walked through the Emergency Room doors I heard a smart ass teenager giving grief to a nurse and the world was all better. A saucy girl like that can't be hurt too badly. And thank god she wasn't, it was all soft tissue damage and despite her pain and the emotional weirdness of being hit by a car (while in the cross walk WITH the right of way) there is nothing wrong with her that some advil and time won't fix, she didn't even have to stay over in the hospital. I can't begin to tell you how hard I prayed and gave thanks to God that night.

Now some good news...yay good news!!

We got the sweetest new flat/townhouse!! It is so awesome, and I just knew we were meant to live there when we went to see it. Sweet Baboo told me not to get my hopes up, 'cause he is so practical. But In my heart I knew that place was ours. It is SO pretty and it is just the right size upgrade for us. I can't wait to go UPSTAIRS to go to bed. I can't wait to have house plants and a spare room/computer room. I can't wait to spread our legs out a little bit and be a little more comfortable. Don't get me wrong, I do love this place. We have had two very good years, happy years but we are ready grow a little, ready to not be able to touch the ceiling, ready to not hear every single noise from upstairs. And the new landlords are really awsome. We are so excited. It is going to be a BIG job to pack this whole place up and clean it to perfection in three weeks, but I know I can do it and I know I will have help. YAY us!
I am going to the new place on Thursday to take some measurement's and I will take some pictures to share. YAY!!

Happy Halloween!!

Well here we are the spookiest day of the year, filled with children overdosed on sugar. For the first time I can ever remember we have no plans tonight but I think we will be going over to John and Aimee's and just hang out. I wish I could be more enthusiatic but I am tired and crampy. Ick!
My favorite pms/period symptom is the crying. Oh yeah baby every five minutes as if on cue.
I think I am just going to stay in my pj's for the rest of the day and eat crap. Maybe I will even have a nap.

Zombie Meghan, and no I am not talking about Halloween.

Damn I am tired. I don't have words for this tired. We stayed out rather late last night and when we got home I stayed up reading until almost 5am (Sweet Baboo bought me the new Douglas Coupland book and I JUST COULDN'T STOP) but between the evil ball of WET fur that is my extra needy cat (I thought they were supposed to be independant?!! This cat wakes me up because he needs to cuddle! If I wanted that I would just date a woman!) and the evil spawn upstairs (who believes that those large bottles of water from water coolers are a usefull percussion toy when they are empty) I got just a little over 4 hours of sleep. I ws supposed to get a little extra sleep today 'cause the clocks went back last night but let's face it there is NO joy in Megville today.
Today we are going to look at a different apartment. It can't hurt to look and get the information. Friends of mine live there and they are dying to sublet so they can move into another place. It is two levels and it has REAL windows and light and it is in a great 'hood walking distance to Theresa and James, Sara, and John and Aimee. I have never been in it but it sounds beautiful. Of course price it real deal breaker and if they allow pets. As evil as Ozzy is some days I am not moving without him. I think that Sweet Boboo really doen't want to move however I am feeling pretty worried about the sale of this house, I am tired of the cramped quarters and the low celilings and the dire lack of natural light. I feel like a dwarf dwelling under ground. The thing I love the most about this place is the garden and I could give that up for more space. I know that the people upstairs will only be here for another month or so, but what if the new oweners have more children? Worse children?? Anyway it can't hurt to look at Dave and Dave's place. The worst case secnario is we see it, totally fall in love with it and can't afford it. That happens to me all the time, that kind of disapointment I can recover from. The best case we see it, love it, we can totally fit it in our budget, they allow cats and we have a new and beautiful home, Dave and Dave get to move too. Either way we are not talking life and death stuff.
ACK my body is all screwed up, between the time change, YAY daylights savings, and the lack of sleep I feel like the walking dead, fitting since tomorrow is Halloween. Speaking of.... One of the reasons I can't wait to have kids is to make 'holidays' like Halloween fun again. We tried to make plans for Halloween this year but they died. No one was that into it.
Anyway Sweet Baboo wants to use the computer and I guess I shall be compliant... for once.

Funny!

This is so fun! http://www.nobodyhere.com/toren.hier Don't ask me why but I could sit there all day and bounce those guys. Maybe I need more of a life. Or a loaf, a good loaf would be nice. I think maybe I will make banana bread today.
Right now I have to grab a shower because mom is on her way to kidnap me.

Welcome to the world Jack! or a boat load of boys.

Yesterday was such a wonderful day. Wanda dropped Toby off to me and I got to spend the whole day with my little moneky,
<------ Toby and Mr. Bummble!
And if that wasn't great enough ....

ANG HAD A BABY!

at 1:44pm October 26th Jack R. Thornhill entered the world.

Beautiful Fall day in Nova Scota or This one is for my Brother Stephen

Yesterday was the first sunny Saturday of the fall so Sweet Baboo and I set out on an adventure to pick pumpkins and experience the joy of Autumn to share with my big brother Stephen who lives MUCH too far away.
This is the pumpkin patch we stopped at in Onslow (just outside Truro).

Pumpkin! I was as more excited then a kid at Chirstmas


Sweet Baboo was pretty excited too!

Picking up pumpkins is a great work out.

Besides the pumpkins we also saw a whole lot of animale action. I was that crazy person you see on the side of the road taking pictures of cows...
and GOATS!
It was a PERFECT day!

Cranky Day

Trying to find things to make me laugh, like this. Thank you Rena and Theresa!

I got email from a dear friend from university today letting me know that his Mother was sick with cancer and not likely to last very long as it is in her brain, lungs and liver. I am so sad for him, for both of them. and of course it makes me think of my own sweet mother. It is that time of year for me, as much as I love October it does mean that November is just around the corner. As much as I try to not think about it I can't help but still hating November. It is a cold, bleak month and it stole my Mother. I know I am a grown up and I should not think like that but somethings are just engraved to deep on the the soul. Sounds mellow dramatic doesn't it. Well maybe it is I am a drama Queen, but fault me when your Mother, Mom, Mommy has been gone 20 years, 11 month and 9 days. That is 1,092 weeks, 7,648 days, 1883,552 hours. I can't tell you how long that is to a heart. I am so lucky, I have a woman in my life who loves me, who cares what happens to me and is a wonderful mom to me but no matter how much she means to me, no matter how close we areshe can't fill the whole that my own Mothers death left in my soul. As I grow into adulthoodI grieve her in a new and perhaps deeper way. At 30 I understand much better how young 44 is. I understand how lonley she muct have been and how tired she must have felt because she spent almost all over her adult life dealing with abusive, alcoholic husbands, divorces, loss and illness. When she wasn't dealing will all that garbage she was a mother of three children who worked full time. I am not sure what dreams she had for herself, she never got a chance to share that with me, but I am sure that she did not get to fulfill many of them. I guess I am not supposed to feel sorry for my own Mother but I can't help it. I am not a mother yet but I can't imagin how terrible it must have been for her to know she was too sick to care for her own children, to know that she was going to die and leave us behind and she wouldn't see us grow up.
Hmmmm two dark posts in a row, I need to break out of my funk. I will try and my my next post a little more pleasent.

Just a day.

Ahh Tuesday. Nothing special going on today, laundry and house work and day time tv. The fun life of a house bitch. But honestly I don't mind that much. I do want to get back to work but not until I find something I REALLY enjoy. I can't stand the thoought of going back to retail and making NO money to be shit on all day. So I hope to find something different. I would love to go back to school and do it right this time. I basically blew university by being a total basket case for most of my 20's. Everything I ever undertook in that decade seemed to be set off kilter by the raging undercurrent of mental instability. I never finished anything I started, I was so busy focusing on being in pain and being angry and being a fuck up that I threw away a lot of very valuble oppertunities that I now wish I had been able to use. I feel, sometimes, that I am bound to stay in in go no where job like retail for ever because I made such a mess of my 20's. Hmmm where did this train of thought come from? deffinetly a dark moment I was not expecting. Off to make dinner and break out from this funk.

Oh the fair!

Yesterday was a cold rainy October Sunday. Sweet Baboo and I were planning on going to Pete's to grab some groceries and hang out with the yuppies but then Aimee called to ask if I would go the fair with her. I thought about it for a moment, it is cold, damp and I am 30 years old, what could possibly go wrong? Well let me just tell you that I am just not as nimble as I used to be, also my tummy gets upset REALLY easily now. It didn't used to do that. I used to avoid rides at the fair that seems liked scary death machines that would certainly spin my out into orbit and into certain death. Now I just want to avoid hurling my guts out. Everything made me feel sick. I felt like I was amillion years old. I know that at some point this was an expereince I considered pleasurable. Thank goodness Aimee had another girl with her so she could go on more rides after I gave up, sure that ONE MORE SPIN WOULD KILL ME! There were fun things thoug, the junk food (consumed only AFTER my tummy stopped spinning), the baby animals, the super dogs, watching Aimee spin like a mad freak of nature on the a evil looking ride called the Spider.
And Sunday night was lovely, Sweet Baboo made a great dinner and we snuggled in to watch Sunday nigth TV. It was warm and cozy, due in large part to the fact that the oven was on for a few hours. I love Sunday so much. Oh I forgot, I also made breakfast yesterday morning. Yummy Toad in a Hole. I used garlic butter instead of regular butter and it was to die for. I don't usually make breakfast on the weekend, it is a chore I usually pass off on to Sweet Baboo since I don't really like cooking. And I am lazy. But I thought it would be a nice thing for me to do if I did something thing for him for once. I am making an effort to try and be a better partner. We had a big fight last week and I realized that if I really want to make this relationship work we both have to put more effort into it. I can't change him but maybe if he sees me working hard then it will show him that I am serious and he will want to make some changes too. I can only change me. Can you tell I have been reading? Anyway before you get it in your head that we have real problems relax, We have the same kind of problems anyone who has lived together for 4 years have. It is only that after a fight you are more accutly aware of the those problems and increase the desire to work on them.
well I am off for lunch with the ladies. Good Day!

Cured by Turkey, it is a Thanksgiving MIRICLE!!

Well it has been a pretty terrible week all in all. I came down witht he stomache flu from hell on Monday evening. Oh yeah baby, I have NEVER thrown up like this before. I know people say this everytime they are sick but I swear I have NEVER BEEN THIS SICK before. Poor Sweet Baboo had to drop me off at the hospital emergency room before driving himself to the airport to catch a flight to Montreal. Of course poor me had to stay home for a week by myself while my body imploded. I am finally feeling better this evening and even had a bit of Thanksgiving Dinner at Uncle Walter and Aunt Leona's. I am planning a BIG Thanksgiving Dinner Extravaganza for later in the month so that I can have a real good meal. I think I will invite The Graham's (hehe) and Rena. Well anyway I am feeling better so I will write more soon.

30 years old is TOO old for hickies!! And other funny stories.

Okay today was a funny day and not ALL haha funny. I woke at the crack of dawn (or noon) to the phone ringing. It was my sister saying that mom was on her way to pick us up to take us to tea... 5 hours later mother arrived. You might think this angered me or that I was worried she was dead in a ditch or that I would have learned the last 100 times that mother NEVER arrives on time and I should NOT hop right in the shower and panic getting ready. But I did none of the above. So finally she arrived but it was too late for tea and everyone was getting to that hungry and tired so we just headed to Wong's for some Chinese. I can't remember the last time just us girls (Mom, Elizabeth, Tiffany and I) all spent anytime together so it was pretty nice. My family tree is so twisted, messed up and convoluted thing I don't have time to explain it all but I will say that the mom who I had dinner with is not the woman who brought me into the world or nurtured me through the first ten years of my life. She is also not the evil bitch my dad married after my saited mother died. She is however the woman who has held my hand, protected me and loved me since I was 13 years old. The best thing in the world is knowing that someone loves you no matter what with no legal or parental obligation. I love days like today when we spend time together and I never feel like an outsider, my family drives me friggin' crazy but I really know that they are mine. Anyway I just had a sappy moment but now it has passed.
Sweet Baboo and I were feeling frisky tonight and he left a hicky on either side of my neck. I have to go to a baby shower tomorrow for one of my best friends, with respectable adults with two love bites on my neck! That man is in so much trouble but of course he is forgiven 'cause the frisky was fun.

Cold and Flu Fun

Oh yes, I have THE cold. Everyone I know is sick, good times. I was over at Sara and Ian's watching Surrvior and I think poor Ian could have filled a truck with the gunk coming out of his head. Now is the time for hot lemony goodness and sleep. The one good thing about this not having a job crap is I can sleep this cold off with very little guilt. YAY sleep!

Helping a friend

You know what is nice? Lending a hand to someone who is REALLY grateful for the help, someone who asks outright for what they need without any emotional games. I like doing things for my friends but I also like to be appreciated and like most people I really don't like being taken for granted or manipulated. I am doing a favor for my friend Michelle, watching her kids while she works nights, for a while. And I can tell that she is genuinely grateful for the help. I have this one friend who always seems to need SO much and it is exhausting, it makes me really reluctant to put myself out there. She makes me doubt the intentions of other people and I hate that. Anyway sometimes you have to cut people out. I have a whack of great friends and I like my life. I can only hope that I can be a good friend to others and that there is such a thing as karma.
Now I am going to sleep, my throat hurts and I think I am getting Sweet Baboo's cold and 7am is VERY early.

Friend Quiz part two.

13. FAVOURITE ICE CREAM? Vanilla! Yup plain old fashioned Vanilla. A freind once told me that she thought I must be very boring in bed because I like vanilla ice cream. I am here to tell you that is simply not true.

14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN? a little bit of salt and butter.

15. FAVOURITE COLOUR? Pink! I love pink. But I like a lot of colour. I am a colour girl.

16. WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR BATHROOM? The Can says Fluffy Cloud Blue. It is so pretty.

17. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? 3, two house keys and a car key

18. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO? I want to follow in the shoes of Sweet Baboo's parents and retire to Petite Cap. Or to that lovely place where it is September/October all year.

19. CAN YOU JUGGLE? No.

20. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Sunday. See previous post for details

21. RED OR WHITE WINE? Red.

22. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? Dinner at Fran's (chinese) with a whole gang of friends and family.

23. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD? yes, absoulutly!

Friend Quiz part one.

1. What time do you wake up in the morning? My body naturally wake up around 10 am.

2. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be? I always have a hard time with this question. A famous person living or dead? DO I want to meet someone who I idolize from a distance only to find that they are an ass in real life? I would like to have afternoon tea with Jann Arden.

3. Gold or Silver? White or Pink gold

4. What was the last film you saw in the cinema? I am dusgusted to tell you all that despite the wealth of free films available to me at the film festival I only saw one. I was TOO tired and stressed to see a movie after spending the day serving the greater evil. Anyway the one movie I did drag myself to was a documentary called Silent Messangers. It was about life up north and inukshuks. It was pretty interesting but I wish I had been less tired when I saw it.

5. Favorite TV show? I confess I am a TV addict. I am lazy enough I could sit in front of the dumb box all day but I will go out of my way to see The West Wing, The Biggest Loser, and Dog the Bounty Hunter (now that shit is FUNNY!)

6. What do you have for breakfast? I am not a great breakfast eater so most days I skill that all important meal. Gosh I am naughty. But I do like cereal and toast. today I had left over Thai Chicken pizza, tea and OJ.

7. What would you hate to be left in a room with? Oh so many things. My step mother, clowns, nothing to think about but my own insucurities, rabbid dogs.

8. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Techincally no, however if I can use my finger to push my tongue up then I can just reach it.

9. What inspires you? Strength inpires me. My friend Shannon who is doing it all with strength AND grace. My brothers who are both strong, wonderful men.

10. What is your middle name? Elizabeth

11. Beach, City or Country? I don't think I could live out of the city for too long but I would LOVE to have a country home on a beach. Oh wait we kind of do already! If only we could get there more often!

12. Summer or Winter? Fall! Yes I would love it if September/October lasted ALL year! That would be my dream world.

Ahhh Sunday.

Sunday is my favorite day of the week. I love waking up and having NO place to go, I love that first cup of tea, I love the quiet and the peace. Yeah! Plus Sunday night has some of the best TV to chill in frnt of, which is what we are doing right now. We had a lovely afternoon, the house is all nice and clean, I had a nap while Sweet Baboo hung out on the sofa (still getting over his cold). We got together with Chris, Ang, Rob and Craig to have dinner at Boston Pizza, Tres Yummy! The Tai Chicken Pizza is to die for as was the Pad Thai. My pizza (spinah and feta) was not so great but I plan on stealing Sweet Baboo's left overs. :)
Ang is looking more and more beautiful every day with her lovely pregnant belly, I can't believe that in less then a month there will be a new little person for all of us to love and that Chris and Ang will be parents. Which reminds me... her shower is in a week and I need to pick up a few more things.
Anyway ... back to TV chillage.

THe CHurch of the Flying spaghetti Monster

This is so funny I almost peed myself when I first read this but now I am converted! I am a true Pastafairan. This is one of the many reasons I really love the internet. Internet will you marry me? Anyway back to FSM... I read some funny emails on this site and also some very disturbing ones. There are always people out there who take things too seriously and this is no difference. Bobby Henderson may have been trying to make a point to the Kansas school board, or he may have been sitting in front of his computer bored one day and come up with the creative, funny outlet, I don't think it matters in the end WHY he wrote what he did as much as that he did and that is his bushiness. Why on earth would ANYONE wish him ill for this? Why would people make threats against him, wish his genitals shrivel up, or damn him to hell? It worries me more then I can tell you that anyone would really be so threatened my this lovely, funny and creative internet phenomenon that they would actually wish a person harm. There is a problem in this world and it is one that I, as a Christian, find more unsettling all the time.
"You are an idiot. I'll pray for you."
"Those of us who know the truth are only saddened that you are doings Satans work"
These are actual comments from ACTUAL emails sent to Bobby Henderson by so called Christians.
Somewhere along the way Christianity got lost and that is so sad. Having a belief system that works for YOU does not entitle you to shove it down the throat of other people, nor does it entitle you to sit in judgment of others. The fundamental message of Christ's teachings was BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER. Not be good to those who you feel worthy. Why is it that so many people remember "I am the way and the truth and the life..." but they can't remember "Love thy neighbour as thyself..."
I am not trying to pass myself off as the worlds best Christian, I am a seriously flawed human being (aren't we all?) and I am a TERRIBLE Catholic ( I have only been to mass once this year and that we in an effort to suck up to sweet Babbo's Mother), however there are certain tenants I hold and will not sacrifice.
I believe that everyone is entitled to live the life, the faith, they choose without being rideculed, harrased, threatened or bullied. I believe that no one Religion is right for everyone. I believe that every person is entitled to choose his or her own way in life without being told that they are damed to burn in hell. I believe in being nice to people, even people who don't always seem to deserve it (years of customer service taught me this, not church). I believe it is much worse to condem a man to burn in hell then to create a website (that no one FORCED you to visit) that explores, even in satire, an alternate belief system. Okay so you read the Open Letter Bobby Henderson wrote and you didn't agree with what he said, or you thought it was goofy, or stupid, or maybe you REALLY believe deep down inside that his everlasting soul is in jepordy, is that justification to be mean? There is something wrong with that. There is something wrong in believeing that a religion that teaches love would support this kind of hate. And I am just talking about one silly website. I haven't even touched serious social issues like smae sex marriage or birth control. And today I am not going to. Today I am going to go back to reading about FSM and laughing at the funny, creative writing. Have a good day.... Be nice to each other.

HAHA!

Last day of work. I don't know if I want to laugh or cry. I need sleep and a lot of it. I want to be home takin gcare of my sweet babboo who is home from work with a cold/flu. I ALSO want to continue to see these people on a daily basis. I REALLY like the people . But the punters suck for the most part. At any rate I will have more evil customer stories to tell you when I have a moment to breathe , I am sure anyone who works in cunstomer service will understand.

I found the most amazing pair of Converse "Chucks" that I want so badly... they are hot Pink and super awsome cool but I can't justify spending that kind of money on new shoes until I find a new job and until I get rid of a few pairs of shoes. as it stands I have too many shoes, if there is such a thing.

Home Now!!

Things that suck.

You know what sucks? Coming home from work late but being too keyed up to get to sleep even though you have to get up in the morning stinking early! Ahhhh! This job is crazy! But it will be over on Saturday. Think positive Meggy!
Another thing that sucks is that my poor sweetie is sick with a cold. I am a terrible nurse but I am trying to take good care of him. When I have a cold he spoils me, going so far as making me HOMEMADE chicken soup. But I am less nurturing then he is. I am not patient enough to be nurturing, it is a good thing my mother talked me out of being a nurse (when I was 7) because I think I would have a terrible bedside manner "Stop whinning and go to sleep! That is how you get better!" I hate to think of what I will do when we have a baby and they get sick. Well maybe that is one of those things you learn as you go. No sense being scared about that now, cross that bridge when we get there. Anyway at this rate I am just ramabling because I am getting tired. bed. yay.

Hi from Film Land

well here I am sneaking some internet time at work, oh naughty naughty queen. I am so pleased to have a few moments to atually sit and write. Things have been a mess since all the weirdness about the house, which by the way we are NOT buying. Now it looks like work is about to pick up again so I can't take long. let me just sa that customer service sucks no matter where you are doing it. I LOVE working with Theresa (again) and James but I am BURNT out. Thank goodness there are only 2 more days. I am going to sleep for a week.

A day unlike any other.

Today did not turn out the way I thought it was going to. Two days ago I thought that I was going to spend the day driving to NB in heavy traffic (thanks to the Rolling Stones) to visit Sweet Baboo's parents and spend a few days relaxing by the shore. Yesterday we decided that the price of gas was too high (almost $1.50/liter) to drive up and back so we were going to camp out at home, stay in our pj's and read all day or flake out in front of the dumb box.
That is how today started, Baboo didn't come to bed until 6am so there was just me, the cat, the hamster and my book as far as I am concerned a PERFECT Saturday. But then around 3pm a knock on the door changed life as we know it. It was my land lady, they are moving, they bought a new house. They want to sell us this one!! And we want to buy it. We love this house, we have been joking for two years about finding a way to buy it and now we really might. I am so freaked out. We know NOTHING about buying a house, or owning a house. We have no idea if anyone is crazy enough to give us a morgage, but hell we have to try.
I have SO many thoughts going through my mind at the moment that I can't hold on to any of them. I have to calm down because we can't get any answers for a few days (Blasted long weekend! :D) But I just have a good feeling about this. Sweet Baboo does too, I can tell 'cause he has this crazy stunned look on his face all the time and when we were pulling in the drive way tonight he looked at he house in a totally different way, like a man on a mission.
Now I have to go to bed and dream about something nice and calming.
Life is so cool.

Well hello and welcome to my life. Why, you may ask, should you read about me and my crap? Well I don't have an answer for you. I don't have anything too special to say and my life isn't all that interesting but it is mine and I am sure that some things I say might make you laugh or cry or if you have insomnia it might help you get to sleep.
Now it is time for me to go and have a pre-bed time snuggle with my sweet kitten who is trying to dance on the keyoard.