coming down with THE cold

Well I feel like pooh, everyone around me has had a cold and now I am feeling achy and coughy and I want to curl up in my bed and sleep for a month. Well I am already in bed and I am half way through a mug of NeoCitran. I am going to sleep very soon.
Gil is currently out with Frank. They are gone drinking and then off to Ralph's to see the strippers. I think it is a scream, I don't mind at all since I know that nothing will happen, I trust him and he will have so much fun out with Frank.
we had family dinner tonight at mom and dad's and EVERYONE was there (except Gil) including Lori and Michelle, that was weird. Lori is getting married and I didn't feel anything about it. She announced it and I just thought "So What?" I know that sounds cold, but Lori is not real family to me. She is some girl who is related to dad and Tiffany and Michael. Oddly I don't feel like that about Michelle. I like Michelle. Lori, she rubs me the wrong way. I have never been able to forgive her for not being there for Dad after the heart attack. The rest of us sat in that room not sure if he was going to live or die, scared for his life, scared for ourselves. We were solidified as a family unit. Phil was ready to jump on a plane and come home but Lori could not, nay WOULD not come the 5 city blocks to be a part of us, our family, our lives. She is not my family.
bed, sleep, rest. yeah.

Top Ten!

Recently a friend of ours was having an MP3 party I did not end up going because we were out of town but part of the premise was you had to chose the 10 most meaningful, important, favorite songs from our lives. Which got me to thinking, what are the songs of my life that are truly meaningful? That make me cry, that make me ache or give me joy just to hear them. I tossed and turned, even though I would not be in attendance, how could I narrow the sound track of my life down to 10 songs??? In the end I am not sure if I made the right decision. I think that the list would likely change day to day in small ways, but it is as close as I can get.
In NO specific order
1.My One and Only Love - Sting
2.The Queen and the Soldier - Suzanna Vega
3.From Hank to Hendrix - Neil Young
4.Sam Stone - John Prine
5.Good Life - Francis Dunnery
6.Lost Together- Blue Rodeo
7.Insensitive - Jann Arden
8.All I Want is You - U2
9.Sir Psycho Sexy - Red Hot Chili Peppers
10. Life Without You - Stevie Ray Vaughn

Okay I am second guessing myself, there are so many more but I have to draw the line somewhere. So there you go... now I am working on a book list. stay tuned.

The Negative Test

One stupid pink line and my bubble is popped. One line taunting me. One line saying "thank you, come again!". I hate that stupid pink line. I was so sure this time. I know, I know we have not been trying very long. I know that I will get over and just keep trying, I know I will enjoy this process with my lovely husband ( who I would like to point out was kind enough not to say I told you so, even though he did tel me so)

I wish I had waited a few more days to take the test. I wish that I were not so green with envy that two people I know gave birth to sweet little girls this week. Don't get me wrong, I am EXTREMELY happy for Shannon and Damon and their little Hannah Rose, and Mike and Stephie and their Cassandra, but I wish it weren't mingled with my own disappointment. Well I can tell you one thing, I am drinking a beer tonight, guilt free. Why is it that as soon as the test is said and done I can feel the discomfort on my impending . ? It's like my own body is being nasty with me.
Anyway, I have to get ready for work and wake up my husband who adores me against all better judgment.
I'll come back later and talk to you about our awesome vacation and news therein when I am feeling more awesome. Soon, I will, I know.

I hate Monday Morning

So I have decided that Monday morning is the worst morning of them all. I hate mornings. But today I made an extra effort to get up early so I could get a shower and eat some breakfast without being rushed. After all breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well imagine my outrage when I woke up, had a shower and plodded downstairs to find there is NO BREAKFAST FOOD IN OUR HOUSE. No cereal, no eggs nothing! Some toast, I did not need to wake up almost an hour early for toast!!! So now I am sitting here, dripping wet, cold, hungry and still bothered by whatever stupid dream I was having before I woke, in a filthy house, with an annoying cat, in the dark because it is so blasted early while my husband peacefully sleeps in our nice warm bed. Yes today sucks.

things change things stay the same. I am feeling weird today. I want to say something to a friend that makes me feel uncomfortable. I really like and respect this person. I am frustrated. I feel like I can't be honest because it will make me unpopular. This is so stupid, I hate it. I could not sleep this morning because I was worried about this. It is insane. FUCK!