Okay, I own a home. We own a home. It is ours. We painted walls, colours we picked!! We have a To Do list as long as all our arms combined but somehow it is not at all overwhelming. People weren’t kidding when they said I would never be in want of a project again. Every room has something that needs doing, but it’s not scary. I know somehow it will all get done, I know that the money will come from somewhere. I am starting to see that we have time and everything doesn’t have to be done right away. We can pick at stuff, get it done at our own pace. We don’t have to ask anyone but each other if we want to do something, anything. If we make a mistake we will learn from it. Already we are learning our butts off. There are lots of things to learn and lots to do and lots of fun to be had along the way. We could have bought a house that already had paint that we liked; we even saw one that looked like it came out of the pages of a Martha Stewart magazine it was lovely but it was really missing that special something, the it factor that struck something inside of us. I knew this was meant to be our house when we both were struck by “it”. The Martha Stewart was beautiful but it wasn’t ours. Our house needs a cosmetic make-over but it is going to be all us. Every room is going to reflect our personalities. If we had gone with the Martha house we wouldn’t have painted not for a long time anyway, it would have been pretty but it would not have been us. Our house is getting painted ASAP because the current décor demands it. But that means it will be “ours” sooner. I have had the chance to speak with the former home owner and he is a really lovely man. His taste in plants is impeccable however his taste in paint and wallpaper makes me question his sanity. The first room to get a make-over was the living room/sitting room. This is going to be my little haven. There will be no TV in this room. There will be no eating in this room. There will be conversations and reading. Gil took me to Leon’s and we picked out BRAND NEW furniture for this room and it was delivered this week. This is my first new sofa, chair and love seat ever. In the 14 years I have lived on my own I have ALWAYS had hand me down furniture. And I am okay with that; that is how it goes. I don’t mind second hand furniture; in fact sometimes I prefer it. I love my second hand dinning room set from Frank & Lee. I love that the furniture for our kids room comes from Sara & Jan, that it has years of love and experience. But there is something about that new living room furniture that says to me “you’ve come a long way baby!” There were lots of moments in the past 20 odd years that I thought I would never be here, lots of moments where I was only running on faith, and more then a few moments when I was only running on the fumes of faith.
Where I am right now is basically where I have always wanted to be. The picture isn’t exactly as I had in my head but I am happier then I ever imagined.
I don’t always act like I am happy. I know I can be quite a sad sack sometimes. I often am able to find something to gripe about. That is me. It is part of my charm. I really am very happy with my life. There is so much good in my world. . I slag my husband when he annoys me but the truth of the matter is I have found the most amazing man in the world and he cares so much about me it is heart wrenching. I found love in a world where there is just not enough of that commodity. I complain about my job but at least I have one. I get a regular pay cheque and am able to contribute to my family and household. I bitch about the price of gas these days but I have a car the shuttles my fat ass around and I don’t have to sleep in it because I also have a great roof over my head, and now I own that roof. I have never owned a roof before. I know there will be moments of stress. I know there will be moments I feel overwhelmed. I just have to learn to breathe through those moments.
We are all moved and there is no rush now.
I think one of the things I liked the most about this move was that I did not have to do any of the actual physical moving. They did all the work that makes me cringe. This is the first time we have done this. It made me VERY happy.
Now I am dying to make this house “our home”. I want to actually get in the garden and plant all then lovely things I have been craving; Dahlias. Rudibeckia. Carpathian bells. Sunflowers. Lavender. Delphiniums. Hollyhocks. I am ripping out all but the one Bride’s Wreath Spirea. I can’t help it, I don’t know why it irritates me so much but Spirea gets on my last nerve. So that will leave me a pretty good sized space for some more colourful perennials. Depending on how far around the back of the house we wrap the deck I might also have a nice spot for veggies. As for annuals, well I have my window boxes which will remain naked this year. I am also going to do boxes and pots around the deck and on the front porch, but I don’t think I am going to do any beds. Also I am turning the bank from the yard to the flower beds into one big “wild” perennial bed. I say wild because there will be no good, convenient way to get in and weed so it is going to be a lot of ground cover and self maintaining plants. Oh I am all tingly just thinking about it.
I keep waiting for the “post event blues” to set it but so far so good. Maybe it is because there is still so much to look forward to. Last night I mowed the lawn for the first time. It was actually HELLA hard work. I have new respect for all the people who keep such immaculate lawns. Mine doesn’t look that great but it will with practice. I think that was only the second time in my life I have ever mowed a lawn. I never had to as a kid because of my hay fever.
Anyway I guess I have gone a little off topic. I am happy. Life is good. This is what I have always dreamed of.
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