Funny story...if by funny you mean deeply disturbing.

I know you might find this a bit difficult to believe, but I was a really demented little kid. Really. I mean I am okay with it, I didn't have the most conventional upbringing as I am sure you have managed to piece together. Anyway I did lots of crazy things mostly in an effort to get some attention and this is one of those tales.

I don't know exactly how old I was; we'll call it second grade-ish.  I desperately wanted to break my arm so I could have a cast. I tried everything I could think of; I tossed myself down the stairs, down a steep hill near my house, banged my arm in the kitchen counter repeatedly. Seriously, I needed a shrink. Anyway, I finally had a grand, fail proof plan. One night when my parents were out I went into the kitchen and appropriated the meat tenderizer. Oh yeah I just heard you groan, you figured out where this is going. So yeah, I took the meat tenderizer up to my room and started to wail on my arm. When my mom got home I went to show her that I "hurt my self". What I didn't count on of course is my mother having a brain or the fact that meat tenderizer leaves a very distinct mark. I suppose at this point my mom realized that I needed a little help. She didn't take me to a shrink but she did get me a cast. She brought home all the supplies needed from the hospital and made me a cast in our bathroom. I know it sounds like I just learned that if I take extreme measures I get my own way but the story has an epilogue. My momma was one smart cookie because about 5 hours after the cast went I was bored of it and I wanted it off. But no! She wouldn't take it off!! She made me keep that damned thing on for the whole weekend. Maybe it wasn't 6 weeks but it was so annoying. Lesson learned (maybe!)

Well adjusted cutie pie or prepubescent sociopath? You decide!