The Ex Factor,

Okay enough baby talk for right now, on to another topic that his been on my mind lately. The exes. I love my husband very much, he is the delight of my universe and by any yard stick he is the most important person in my life, my most significant relationship. However he is not my only significant relationship and my adoration of him does not alter the history of my life or erase the previous men in my life. Nor should it. For good or for bad our past relationships shape our current ones. I can tell you now with 100% certainty that my relationship with PM has had a real and pertinent impact on what kind of wife and partner I am to Gil.
I have had many Ahh-ha moments over the years about my past relationships, about the nature and function of love. I learned that to really love someone means wanting what is best for them even when that is not you. I learned that it is more important to be honest with myself then with anyone else. I learned that it my happiness is my own responsibility. I also learned that you can love more then one person at a time. This is a concept that many people have a very hard time dealing with and I am not sure why. A mother of three does not love only one of her children. I do not love only one of my parents or my siblings. The human heart has an amazing capacity for love. This in no way means that feel a romantic attraction to any of my exes. I would not trade in my relationship with Gil for a single other man on this planet. But I refuse to believe love just ends out right. In some cases it morphs it's self into hate, or diminishes to indifference, but genuine love does not evaporate with the dissolution of a relationship. Loving someone else does not diminish what I give to my husband, does not lessen the intensity or scope of my love for him. I won't disgust you all we a pre-valentine gush about our love being bigger or better then all other loves in history, who am I to judge? But I will tell you that there is something special, even magical about my relationship with my husband. Long ago we came to understand that romantic love has a time and a place, that it has highs and lows. Friendship on the other hand, which is the basis for our love, our relationship, our partnership, that is a rock that can not shaken. The subtleties, the intricacies, the complex ebb and flow of our daily life, they seem so mundane but they are silk threads with which we weave our magic.
I have as ever gone completely of course. I have several exes in my life who I am very grateful for, some who I could have lived without. But they have and continue to shape me into the woman I today.
Now mister magic wants a chance to check his mail so I had better run. See, compromises, another gift I leaned from an ex!