When I was growing up I almost always had boy best friends. I didn’t like other girls very much. They were either too prissy or too weird. Truth be told I didn’t feel comfortable around other girls, even then I was judging myself by someone else’s yard stick and I always found myself coming up short. With the boys I could be me; dirty nails, stringy hair and all. Then as a teenager I lived with 5-9 other teenage girl at any given time. If you want to learn something about the insanity of the female psyche I recommend trying this sometime. Needless to say I had it up to my eye balls with women and girls and though I had developed a few good girl friends I never felt wrapped in the warm embrace of sisterhood. In my early 20’s I retained a few of those girlfriends from high school and made a few more in university however for the most part other women my age were merely competition in the great sport that is man hunting. However as I have grown up (the late 20’s and entering my 30’s) and settled down I am astonished to find myself surrounded by amazing, smart, funny and beautiful women.
The other night I went to see the Sex & The City movie with one of these women. She is currently going through some very serious marital problems; we thought Sex would be a feel-good-pick-me-up-distraction for her. If you haven’t seen the movie I won’t spoil it for you but let’s face facts, it wouldn’t be Sex if there were not some relationship pitfalls to overcome. Our “feel good” movie turned into an intimate event for the two of us as we both watch as scenes from her ailing marriage played out on the screen before us. It was shocking. While she was left with her head reeling a little, I left with was a sense that my friend and I had delved even deeper into an already splendid friendship. For the duration of the movie there was only the two of us in that theatre, crying, laughing, making sure that the fiction was not too much for either of us to bear.
The movie celebrates that certain something about girlfriends that is so magnificent and crucial. There aren’t a lot of models of this out there. Women are taught to view each other critically and often with deep mistrust. I know I have been guilty of this myself. There are certain women who I don’t like because they have given me a reason to dislike them and then there are woman who I loath and I can’t tell you why. I know it doesn’t make any sense. I feel protective of my friends around them, of my male friends, or my brother (who no girl is good enough to date, of course) and of my husband (one woman in particular gets my dander going when she is around Gil and I thought that I wasn’t a jealous girl!)
I am trying to get past this as it is essentially misogynistic and I believe I am getting better.
However when I look at my really close girlfriends none of the make me feel on edge or over protective of my husband and some of them I would REALLY like to introduce to my guy friends. They are a fairly diverse group of women. They come in a range of shapes, colours and ages. They aren’t women who always agree with me no matter what I say. We don’t all share a taste in music or movies. Some are married, some have children, some have high paying jobs and some are just scraping by. What they have in common is Strength of Character. Kindness. Generosity. Inner Beauty. Respect. Compassion. Humour. Honour. Courage. They are women who give of themselves because they genuinely care about their friends and family. They are women who will sit in the doctor’s office with you even though you are a pukey mess. They are women who will let you come to their house at the crack of dawn to have a shower because your own is not working. They are women who know that getting a cold face cloth is the best way to help a crying friend. They are women who will volunteer their homes for showers or wedding receptions without a second thought. They are women who will roll up their sleeves and get dirty to give you a hand. They are women who will make you smile even when you didn’t think you had a smile left.
I am so lucky to be surrounded by these women.
No comments:
Post a Comment