Stuff...

So there has been no resolution about the whole wedding situation but I don't really want to talk about that, it is still to painful and there is so much more going on in my life at the moment.
For example Gil and I bought a house!!! YAY!!!


I am so excited. We don't move until July but I am loving it so much. I have so many plans and dreams. There is so much to do and I look forward to having some time to get things together rather then rush we had last time.
There was a week or so when things were SUPER stressful but over all it has been fun and much easier then planning a wedding. this is going to be the house we call home, where we raise our children, where we grow old together. This is our Home. We are the Richard's of Hilltop Terrace.
I am going to garden and get a dog and paint and dance around.
That is of course providing that the mass I found is not cancer. Yup. I have a mass, the doctor confirmed it and I am waiting to see someone else. I am scared. I admit it. After a few days of Gil being very passive about the whole thing I finally got him to have a real conversation and he acknowledged my fears and his own and we have a plan and it is a good one. I am scared but I am going to keep putting one foot in front of the other. There are moments when I am consumed but fear, when I can't move or breath or call to Gil for help because my voice is gone. I don't know what scares me more the thought of dying of the thought of being seriously ill but both sound sucky. But I will keep trying to think positive. I will focus on my husband and our new house. Until I have cause not to I will keep up with the adoption prep classes. I will continue my volunteer work with Habitat for Humanity. I will look forward to all the wonderful things my life has to offer and maybe this will be a wake up call for me to simplify and prioritize things.
I am pretty tough!