ARG!

Oh ... Misery thy name is pms. And if you had a taste it would be this....
Oh yeah we are just having that kinda of day here at the happy time ranch.
I am am sure you all care so much about my menstrual woes but can I just say that when combined with pre-Christmas stress, by regular round of winter blues and the fact that I am REALLY hating my job at the moment, I feel pretty much like I am standing on the edge of the depths of despair. (thank you so much Anne Shirley).
Logically of course I know this will pass. The pms will end, the kitchen will get clean, the mountain of laundry will some how get washed, dried fold and find it's way back into the dresser drawers. Christmas will come no matter how much I bury my head in the sand and it will be fine, it will be wonderful because it always is, because I live a charmed life and I land on my feet. But for some reason the part of my mind that KNOWS all this to be true has gone on strike. I am being rules by the illogical, immature, needy part of my brain that flat out refuses to believe that the days will eventually get longer, that some day we won't be so broke, that my real friends won't mind if the gifts this year are smaller and possibly homemade. This part of my brain wants to throw a tantrum, for some one else to "fix it" and to go to sleep until spring. I hate this version of me and want to do every thing in my power to put a muzzle on her.
I think the the thing that I worry about the most is also the most irrational... and that is that Gil is finally just going to get fed up with the rotten, unhappy negative me and walk away. Now he has never ever given me any reason to worry about this it consumes me. I mean I can hardly stand to live with me, how come he keeps staying. But thank god he does. He certainly makes everything so much better. As I speak he is down stairs doing laundry, YAY Gil. I am going to go and finish pairing the mountain of socks because nothing helps snap me out of a funk like crossing things off my to do list.
Peace my friends.