Okay... okay I confess!! We have an artificial Christmas tree. I swore I never would. I MOCKED those who did. I love real trees. I love, love, L.O.V.E. the smell. I love how they look. I love going to the tree lot and choosing the perfect one. I had to have a fake tree as a teenager because group homes can't have real ones, some crap about allergies and fire hazards. So I swore I would never do it in my house. And yet here we are going on our third Christmas with ol' fakey. Why? Why would I do this to myself, to Gil, to our friends and family? (oh yeah dramatic flare!)
I could quote you an article by the American Christmas Tree Association that says that there are many benefits to having an artificial tree including saving money, the lack of pine needles shed all over the house, free of maintenance hassle. I could say that it had something to do with the debate that fake tree's are better for the environment (but I am not convinced of that so it would be dumb of me to say) but none of those are the reason why year after year I gladly haul out fakey.
The truth of the matter is that I go through this yearly ritual because I value my marriage... a lot.
Gil and I are lovers not fighters. It is rare that we have a real tear up, rip roarin' fight. But without fail every year we would get the tree home and within half an hour all hell would break loose. Oh yeah we would have great fun going to the lot and wandering around, picking the perfect tree. It was always SO romantic, crisp and cold and full of possibility. But the first cracks always started when we were trying to wrestle the tree INTO the car. The drive home smoothed things over as we were giddy, drunk on Christmas joy. We would pull into the drive way and things were fine then we would go to wrestle the tree OUT of the car and the wheels would come off. Metaphorically of course. By the time the tree was in the stand and as close to standing up straight as we could manage one of us was always in tears (me) and one of us had managed to learn 42 new curse words (Gil). Hoho friggin' ho! The misery never lasted that long, it certainly never permanently ruined Christmas but it always left a terrible taste in my mouth. Metaphorically of course.
You see I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father. And he was never so sweet that he would take a break from being an Angry Drunk for the holidays. Putting up the tree was often a trigger event that lead to a holiday full of Angry Drunk.
Gil is not an alcoholic, he certainly is never angry on the rare occasion that he actually drinks enough to be drunk HOWEVER I have had enough "tree putting up" drama/trauma to last a whole life time... and I had this opportunity to make sure I never had to endure it again. Gil would not have to endure it. And when we finally have children they would not have to endure it.
I am not sure why the task of getting the tree in the stand and standing it upright always turns in to a feat of Herculean effort. But I know that my family is not unique in this regard. While I am sure there are people out there who have the Disney experience but I think that they are the exception. Maybe going out and getting an artificial tree was a little extreme but I am telling you it was worth it. This year Gilly went down to the basement and pulled Ol' Fakey out of storage. It took about 3.5 minutes. When I had a moment between baking cookies I went in the living room and put the tree together. It took about 7 minutes. Over the last few days I have spent roughly 12 minutes fluffing the branches until they looked exactly like I wanted them to. (I also wanted to leave the tree for a few days to see how Miss Mango would react to it. SO far so good.)
Last night my Sweet Baboo asked me if I would like him to put the lights on the tree?! I gave him a big ol' kiss of gratitude and off he went. He did a perfect job too may I add. Sometime over the next few days I will throw on the decorations (probably between batches of cookies) and it will look beautiful 'cause let's face it there is really no such thing as an ugly Christmas tree. We will have managed to do the whole thing with out shedding one tear or uttering one profane word (until Mango knocks the tree over which you SO know is coming!)
Now if you will excuse me I am off to sniff my Christmas Tree scented candles.... Ahhh pine fresh!
No comments:
Post a Comment