I sincerely had the most messed up dreams last night! I blame my friends for being so creative in my presence, nonetheless it meant a restless night with poor sleep and that meant a long tired day today. Work was busy but sporadic, like it would be CRAZY for 15 minutes then nothing for an hour. I can't work that way. Can't my customers make a nice schedule to call and annoy me? Oh well at least the phones are ringing which means the money is coming in. I can't ask for much more then that. We did have something scary happen at work. A shipment of stock was coming off the truck and the cheap pallet snapped in half and dumped roughly 2000 lbs of stock from about 6' on to the floor where only moments before our shipper James had been standing. It was so close and so scary it totally messed up the rest of everyone's day. We were all thinking the same thing... "what if?" and "Thank God". It must of been even scarier for my boss because not only is James a valuable employee but he is also her oldest son.
Back to nicer subject matter but sticking with the subject of weight. Gil and I were in the grocery store this evening on the way home from work and we were in the produce section so he took me over to the potatoes and put 25 lbs of potatoes in my arms. I couldn't believe how heavy it was. How could I have lost that much weight? Where was I keeping it all? Where did it go? And most of all if I lost THAT much how come I don't really look any different? Is there a certain point when all fat just looks the same? I mean please do not get me wrong, I am SOOOO happy to have shed those pounds but I am curious to know when I can expect to look in the mirror and see some difference. I hope it is soon. I need something to push me to my next level. I need some motivation and some positive feed back from the mirror so I can find the will to keep going. I did get out for a big walk tonight. I need to do that at LEAST 3 days a week but really it should be more. I don't mind once I get going but it is the getting up off my ass and getting out the door that is hard. Just like going to the gym. Plus I have to add a greater variety of activity to me routine. But I really hate working out. Really I do. I was doing the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred DVD and I hated every second of it. I yelled at the TV I hated it so much. It was just too hard for me to do. I am not that kind of exerciser and I don't really want to be. I am sure there are other ways for me to move my body and be healthy other then doing crunches and push-ups. I swear to you, I can't do a push-up. You might as well ask me to grow a penis. I just need to find more things I actually LIKE to do because getting healthy should not feel like punishment. It shouldn't feel like torture. I actually really like walking. I like looking at all the houses and gardens. I like walking in the park and seeing the nature and walking by the water and seeing the boats and rocks and waves. I never can't find something to engage my eye or imagination when I am walking, even when I am just walking around the building at work... which I should start doing again. The problem with walking is that it really is weather dependent. I don't mind walking in mildly inclement weather but certainly not in full out rain. And I have yet to master winter walking. I guess I will get that more with the dogs this winter. I am not adverse to mall walking but I don't like to do it alone and I don't really think that is something Gil would do with me. I used to LOVE walking with Aimee but she seems really not into it at the moment. Lulu is a good walking partner but at least Aimee talks back to me and she doesn't stop to sniff every third step. :)
I did like bowling, that was fun and good exercise. And I think I would like some other light sports. Hopefully in the fall dodge ball will be back up and going so both Gil and I will have that. I know that there is stuff to do out there, it is just a matter of finding it and finding the TIME for it. Having the dogs is certainly not as time consuming as children but I do have to come home in the evening and make sure they are fed and pooped and walked at least once and a while. If I am going to have dogs I at least want to being putting my best effort into it. The dogs can't be like one of those hobbies I pick up then forget about after a few weeks/months/minutes.
I think this is a good time to say good night! Sweet dreams and wish me luck with mine.
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