Hot stuff!

My usual rule, or my lately rule anyway is no distractions while blogging. I set a timer, close Facebook (I am sorry dear friend and sit someplace comfortable and then start going off at the mouth, or the fingers as the case may be. Anyway tonight I am making an exception... I have some classical music playing and I in bed with Lulu because this is where the fan is and we both want to be naked in front of the fan, which of course is easier for Lulu as she seldom wears clothes. On that note, please not to try and thing about the fact that I am naked in front of the fan but it is July in Nova Scotia by god it is hot and humid. most definitely no blankets on the bed tonight. Of course having a warm 60 lbs greyhound plastered to my side is not helping at all. But she had no accidents in the house today so I am giving her a little extra treat here in front of the fan with me.
I had a very weird thing happen tonight that I am going to share with you. I have a friend who is studying to be a councilor and he needed someone to a practice session with so I volunteered, because I want to be a good friend and because I like this guy a lot and we don't see each other very much. So when I got there and we started he asked me if there was something I would like to talk about and I opened my mouth and all this STUFF just came tumbling out. I told him all about my "Now I lay me down to sleep" problem and how crazy I feel for being so afraid of something so universal and then we talked about how I don't drive because I am afraid of having an accident and all these FEELINGS just kept pouring out. It was so weird. For a little while he wasn't my biddy he really was a councilor. I hope he doesn't think I am some nut job. Really I feel like I came across as really crazy but the fact remains I have a big death problem and I need to get some help and this is the first time I really talked to anyone other then Gil about it. I think I should really get myself a real shrink. Also as a side note I think that this friend of mine is going to be really great at his job someday when he finishes school. I mean he just looked at me and I started talking!
I am s tired tonight. Maybe it was all the emotions doing the tango around my head tonight, maybe it is the heat, maybe I am still in migraine recovery mode from yesterday or maybe it is that I ate naughty food for dinner or some combo of all the above but I feel like it should be Friday and I should not have to get up for work tomorrow. I can't WAIT for my two extra days off.  I am so glad I decided to take them. I don't even care if it rains the whole time. I plan on doing big fat nothing with those two days. I might read or scrapbook or watch some West Wing (I <3 Josh!) but I am not PLANNING anything. I might go all photo crazy or I might go on some big walks or I might sleep all dang day! Who knows?! I won't be talking on the phone I can tell you that! I won't be answering a million inane questions or crunching numbers. I won't be worrying about finding work clothes in the morning or packing lunch or worrying about where my keys and glasses are. NO SIR! I will of course still have to take the dogs out in the morning but then I am free to crawl back into bed or have my tea on the deck. LOL it sounds a lot more like I am off for a month then 4 days but at this point honestly one is as good as the other. I know in the end it will have gone by too damn fast because that is what happens, maybe I will even wish I did more with my time but I still refuse to "make a plan". Too much of my life is a plan. I need to learn to fly by the seat of my pants! A plan can be a very good thing but there is no reason that NOT having a plan can't be good too... in the right situation... like this one. My inner planner is screaming at me right now but I have decided she needs to shut up, just for a little while. My inner planner is VERY strong willed and very used to getting her own way, some might say she is a control freak. But she has learned from experience that in most cases a plan makes thing flow easier, I can't really blame her for that. But she really needs to understand that plans tend to change. Good things can still happen when the plan changes but shit happens, life happens. If you can't learn to go with the flow you likely miss out on a lot of fun things. We don't want to miss out on fun things. We want to be right at the heart of fun things. Fun things 'R us! So that is why I am not planning anything for my staycation. I am going to let the fun find and carry me. I am going to go with the flow. "and I am going to have fun dammit!" See there is that control freak again.
Whatever happens I will be sure to keep you in the loop. Now I am going to get ready for bed because I have a cramp in my hand from typing and even with the fan only high is is still hotter then heck in here and it is making me restless. My kingdom for an air conditioner. I don't really care at this very moment about the consequences to the environment (but I suppose that is why it is in such a mess isn't it?!) I want to not be hot and sticky and icky. I suppose I could go sleep in the basement, it is cool down there, but it is the basement and it freaks me out after dark so I guess that is not really an option. Anyway, what I mean to say is good night and keep cool.