I have pretty close a couple of times in the last few weeks to "re booking" my road test. By that I give you full license to read chicken out and quit because that would be what I was doing. Today is the closest. I actually had the phone in my hand, big fat tears running down my face, snot and the whole works. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to drive and I didn't want to humiliate myself by failing. At one point the stress reached such level that Gil and I lashed out at each other and I really thought that maybe this whole thing was going to hurt my relationship with my husband. I went to work, I vented, I cried, I ranted, I wrote a post that I am not put up because I really didn't mean what I was saying. And then when Gil came to get me after work he was sitting in the passenger seat. Talk about a vote of confidence. I am pretty sure that he is going to frog march me down to access on Thursday morning come hell or high water so I might as well just suck it up and keep practicing. So that is what I did. I feel confidant with just about everything except the parking, specifically parking our land yacht of a car. But tonight we went out again, when we were feeling well fed and in pretty good moods and we tried it over and over and over and over until I felt like I knew what I was doing and my successes were not just flukes. We are going to do the same thing tomorrow night and the same thing on Wednesday night and then on Thursday I am just going to get up and do it. That's it. If I fail it won't be for lack of trying.
Okay I am going to go watch True Blood and have a bath. I feel I have earned a bit of relaxation, I don't even care that I didn't get the dishes done. Bizam!
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