It started as a joke, harassing a writer friend who had fallen off her daily writing wagon. It is funny how so many great ideas start as a joke. Of course it snow balled. It went from a joke to a burgeoning plan and with in an hour it had a name and a nick name and some kind of rule set. By the next day it was a full fledged thing with a Facebook group and everything. So here I am on June 1st with a commitment to write a decent blog post every day for a month. I think it is funny that I always seem to undertake these tasks when I already have 42 balls in the air but it makes life interesting right?!
I suppose the difficult task for me is figuring out what makes a substantive blog post. I have been collecting ideas for topics for a while now; I certainly don't want to spend a month talking about the weather, my belly button lint (interesting though you may find that) or the inherent greatness/evilness of my dogs. I want to talk about things that matter to me. the problem with that is that I get a little stage fright. The minute I get a great idea I start to worry about what YOU will think about what I am saying. I worry YOU will think that my opinion is stupid or uneducated. I worry YOU will notice that my grasp of English grammar is tenuous at best. I worry YOU will know it actually took me ten minutes to figure out how to spell tenuous.
The crazy thing is I don't even know who YOU are. Should I worry about my friends and what they think of me. That hardly seems like a sound friendship is a dangling participle comes between us.
Are YOU a stranger who somehow stumbled blindly into the blog of little consequence that started off 6 years ago as a means for me to keep my brother updated on my life without having to write multiple emails. If so then Hello Stranger and why should I care if you don't like that I a liberal (mostly) pro-choice (mostly) mid thirty DINK with muddled views on everything from our Prime Minister to Spanx.
Why do I care what any of you think. Well I am sure there is some deep rooted psychology behind it and maybe I will Google that later but the long and the short of it is that I want you to like me. Nay, I want to you LOVE me. I want to be 100% accepted by you and I will do or not say anything to achieve that love. (You should be impressed with me right now, it only took me two tries to spell achieve. Do you love me yet?)
I don't know why I care if you love me. At 36 I really hoped that this was something that I would out grow, like jelly shoes and stirrup pants but alas I am still burdened with an abundance of giving a fuck. I really hope to start taking some small steps to remedy that in the course of this month, this challenge. I am going to try to talk about things as I honestly see them and not worry if my Facebook friend list suddenly gets shorter. (I have 302 on there now)
I think that is it for day #1. I have said my piece and it actually took me a lot longer to write than I thought. Of course in the midst of doing this I got groceries, fed the beasts, did some laundry, flossed my teeth and fetched my husband some milk and cookies. Okay that is a lie. I didn't floss my teeth.
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